What if we told you that over the past few months, the biggest challenge agents have faced has little to do with the quality of their leads, the interest rates, or the number of available listings.
It also has little to do with the stipulations post-NAR lawsuit or the decline in email deliverability.
According to Greg Harrelson, the biggest challenge agents are facing as of late is one that's being spread throughout different industries: lack of charisma.
Bear with us. In his latest mastermind call with our Real Geeks community, Greg laid it all out in a very concise way that clearly defines the issue, and what we can do about it.
Because we can guarantee you that lack of charisma has killed at least one of your deals. And in this article we're going to break down a simple mindset switch to change this.
Think about the last time a lead ghosted you after a call. Did they feel like just another prospect on your list, or did they walk away thinking, "Wow, that agent really gets me"?
Remember that if you want personalized help from Greg for all things real estate, from SEO optimization to deal negotiation, join his private coaching community for Real Geeks users at RGMastery.com.
The Oxford dictionary defines charisma as:
"the compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others."
But we believe that definition is limited at best, and misleading at worst.
Because it makes it seem like charisma is about showcasing what's great about you. When in reality, charisma has very little to do with who you are. Charisma is really about how you make people feel about themselves.
This is how Greg applies it to our industry:
"one of the most important things that you can do is you can make sure that the buyer feels like you're really interested in what it is you're asking them".
Sounds simple enough, doesn't it? And yet, most of us suck at this.
Why? Because during our conversations with leads, especially now in a post-NAR lawsuit world, our main goal is qualifying. So we make the whole thing feel like an interrogation.
"So how many bedrooms do you want?"
"Have you narrowed down the neighborhoods?"
"What's your budget for this?"
"Are you working with a lender?"
This line of questioning feels like an an interview or examination.
Of course, the buyer knows you're trying to strike a deal. But that doesn't mean you need to make it feel like one.
People want to feel heard. They're about to make one of the most important decisions of their life, and they're not going to trust you if they feel like they're just another number to you.
The simple mindset to completely change the way you conduct yourself in these initial calls? Take your realtor hat off, and put your friend hat on.
Imagine you're speaking with a friend who's looking to move homes.
How would that conversation go?
By shifting your focus from qualifying leads to genuinely understanding their needs, you create an experience that feels effortless for them. Here’s how that plays out in a real conversation.
If you were to pretend like this lead is an old friend of yours and that they're simply asking for your opinion as a realtor, your conversations would be much more successful.
Your questions would come from a place of genuine curiosity, rather than being part of a qualifying checklist you're mentally going through.
"Myrtle Beach? Wow, what's got you thinking about moving there?"
"Yeah, the school districts are great in that area. Are there any neighborhoods that have piqued your interest?"
"Oh nice. And I suppose you would want to move before the kids start school in the next few months, or are you thinking of this more long-term?"
This line of questioning feels much more human, doesn't it? Even if a buyer knows your ultimate goal is to work with them, these questions won't make them feel like they're just another deal to you.
And you shouldn't be thinking that way either. Focusing on building relationships rather than closing deals might sound like a "cute, but impractical" piece of advice, but it isn't.
Focusing on creating a connection with your leads isn't just ethical, it's a much more effective way to grow a business.
Here are some practical examples of what happens when a lead fully trusts you, because they feel like you actually care about their buying experience rather than seeing them as another number:
— They’re more open to your guidance throughout the buying process.
— Negotiations go smoother, because they believe in your judgment.
— They trust that the homes you’re showing actually fit what they want—so fewer showings, quicker decisions.
— They’re more willing to make concessions, knowing you have their best interest at heart.
— They come back to you when it’s time to buy or sell again.
— And maybe best of all? They refer you, because they want their friends to have the same experience they did.
Of course, it’s not just about the words you say—it’s about how you say them. Your tone, pacing, and inflection determine whether a lead feels truly heard or just processed through your pipeline.
In other words, you're not going to be able to make the buyer feel like they matter to you if you just recite open-ended questions like a robot.
If you're part of our Real Geeks community, check out how Greg delivers these lines — it’s a masterclass in genuine curiosity.
And again, just think about how you would react to this information if you were talking it through with a friend — you would probably either try to match their energy or elevate it to show them you really care.
If this feels disingenuous to you, remember you are supposed to care about these people. It's much more unethical to see them as another number than it is to "turn on" the charm and actually make them feel cared for and supported in one of their biggest decisions they'll ever make.
Either way, we believe you're more than likely a phenomenal agent who will do right by their leads — why not make them realize that from the get-go?
Charisma is a learned skill, and perhaps the most important one you can gain as an agent.
After all, we all have access to pretty much the same properties, we all have access to very similar lead pools, and we all have to comply with the same industry regulations.
What separates us from any other agent is how good we are at building connections.
So put your friend hat on, and practice this skill until it becomes second nature.
Making your leads feel like the protagonists in their buying journey, and making them see you as the helpful guide along the way is going to transform your business.
And remember, if you want personalized help from Greg for all things real estate, from SEO optimization to deal negotiation, join his private coaching community for Real Geeks users at RGMastery.com.